My noon has come, to dine

November 2011
It's been a really, really rough Birthday/Thanksgiving week. I spent my Birthday evening in the Emergency Room in Los Angeles (not as the patient), and the rest of the holiday weekend angry, stressed out, and depressed. I did my best to make Thanksgiving Day a good one. With my upcoming departure to New York, I am incredibly worried from what had ensued a couple days ago. I'm scared, and I'm ridden with bouts of fear. I'm not sure what to do, and I feel too emotional to act rationally and thoughtfully. I think I've spent too much time alone that I'm not sure if what I'm thinking are logical thought processes or if I'm over-reacting or not reacting enough. Really, what I want to do is forget about the entire thing and pretend it didn't happen...but that choice has always been regretful, from what I've learned. I wish I can be more positive, and I'm sure that'll eventually come. But right now, I'm really sad. And angry. It switches back and forth. Regardless, the next day keeps coming, and time keeps going, and things-to-do lists keep piling. I'm not going to be able to sulk away in this forever. Some things are beyond my control, right?