I’m the rainbow in your jail cell

hello 2011.
It's been a long time since I've written in this blog. I had started a new, more "public" blog, but I felt reluctant to write honestly about my day-to-day. So I'm back, here, where it feels like home. Since the last time I posted, I spent 8 months in New York and graduated Art Center a couple months ago. It's a shame that I did not document this time, as I've changed so much. I'll be heading back to Manhattan at the end of the year, and till then, I'm freelancing with a couple amazing designers. I feel real lucky.

With my other hours, I've been reading, drawing, and watching a lot of movies. Also, working on some personal projects. I'm doing all the things I promised myself I'd do if I had the time to do it. I feel a bit isolated and disconnected from people, but I'm starting to create a bubble with my selective inspirations and soundtrack and feel strangely content at how much I love owning this creative headspace I've built in the confines of my room.

I've been feeling quite nostalgic. As much as I am fascinated and grateful about the offerings of social design, I'm bombarded with incredible amounts of information everyday, and it tires me out. I want to feel "preciousness" again. I want to hear that one song that means the world to me, or come across a poet that I swear I discovered in the depths of the local library. I want to carve out that space again. Maybe I'm pushing against that inevitable age and time. But I still want it to be okay for me to bleach my hair and dye it hot pink, I want it to be okay for me to write notes to friends about the cute guy at the coffee shop, and I want it to be okay for me to drive two hours at midnight to sit on my favorite cliff overlooking the ocean (as I eat a donut).

I always want these things to be okay,
even at 80 years old- on a wheelchair- breathing through a ventilator.

But it's becoming harder to do so. Again and again, I want to drive far away and graze the fields of long grass plains, a re-occurring theme for this nomadic gyspy