i woke up as the sun was reddening; and that was the one distinct time in my life, the strangest moment of all, when i didn't know who i was

Albuquerque, NM -  Amarillo, TX - Oklahoma City, OK

on road to the grand canyon

don't tell him its not real

view from wilma's room

bed rock city dinosaurs

a view

the grand

leaving arizona

pit stop

lots of lightning and a quick but frightening rainstorm

albuquerque, new mexico- Frontier Restaurant

Flagstaff, AZ to Albuquerque, NM

• a tiresome and exhausting car ride
• i've never seen such vast open sky. it's all sky. 
• albuquerque is a cool city. 
  
• more sky

still, i know it's gonna happen someday

Los Angeles to Flagstaff

• route 66 runs parallel to interstate 40. it's bizarre. 
  
• drive, not so bad 10:30am-7:30pm
  
• weather is warm and rose up to 113 degrees
  
• drove by first del taco in Barstow. brother is very enthusiastic about this.
  
• stopped at ambroy, a historic route 66 landmark in the mojave desert. what emptiness
  
• in Flagstaff now. weather is good, view is beautiful and green
  
• dinner at beaver street brewery, a good yelp find. beer, fondu, and pizza. toasty
  
• still revising my essay at the arizona motel. 
  

tomorrow

a brief detour to the grand canyon and then to new mexico

the air was so soft, the stars so fine, the promise of every cobbled alley so great

i'm off

feels just like you said it would

saturday

hot pot birthday dinner hosted by nancy and david. a great thing. so colorful and interactive.

sunday

continuing and desperately attempting to finish my essays

this morning

looking for the elusive route 66 map

noon

learning about post 1920's america. clips of red river, oklahoma- emergence of jazz, the oncoming depression and the dust bowl. im enjoying the roaring twenties, and eager to learn more about it during my trip!

breuer

he designed the wassily chair at age 23! what!

time passed

(photographer: sean marc lee)

friday

i just read all day. 

this means love

(ad author: i don't know)

morning

gathering books about route 66 at the downey library in anticipation for my road trip to chicago. 

noon

lunch with mom, brother, aunt, & grandma at niko niko.

4:30 pm

off to school to research hans wegner and marcel breur. realizing things have changed. realizing i have changed. when i find myself actually enjoying the research process and anticipating the thought of writing my paper. 

7:00 pm

lecture by mark tribe about the port huron project. an interesting discussion afterwards revolving around social responsibility, and the lack there of. 

i am bothered

by the absence of any sort of public service in my life. every month, i schedule an orientation for a public arts service that i am interested in, only to dismiss it and reschedule for the next month. this rescheduling must stop.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

he's great. i found "creativity: flow and the psychology of discovery and invention" at the library, and his "flow: the psychology of optimal experience" is still somewhere on a ups truck. 

if not for you, winter would have no spring

this morning

woke up late, scrambled and headed to nethercutt museum (car museum)

lunch

korean food in glendale with classmates

this evening

hip hop class. oh, fun!

i've spent all of my days just loving you

12:30am

1:15

apple store- an appointment at genius bar

2:oo-4:00

design research symposium regarding exploration and methodologies of materials with chris lefteri, karen hofmann, dan gottlieb, and penny herscovitch

4:15

an enthusiastic lecture on eva zeisel & a documentary. zeisel is wonderful.

7:oo

presentation by KOR water on KOR one hydration vessel. (or laymen's term, water bottle)

10:00

abc primetime on tourettes syndrome

sometimes

so unsure.

come baby, find me, come baby, remind me of where i once begun

(hromama)

weekend

brother's bbq festivities

the menu:

gourmet sausages on toasted rolls topped with sauteed red peppers

iceberg lettuce with blue cheese/yogurt dressing

mac and cheese with sharp cheddar, gruyere, and bread crumbs

potato salad with fresh herbs

kettle potato chips

ben & jerry's cherry garcia

porto's fruit tart (thanks linda, its so good!)

blue moon beer, ibc cream soda, red wine

today

stayed up all night and went to school early. sleepy and tired

noon

watching hitler's "triumph of the will" and clips of radford's 1984 film. discussing huxley and orwell- i still haven't read 1984 or brave new world. oh, shame. 

this american life (again)

watching an episode of this american life, realizing that the person featured is someone i know and see everyday. i am shocked, and can't get his image out of my head. strange to say "hello," when i feel like i'm holding back a secret. 

other books in juggle

the new kings of nonfiction by ira glass

flow:the psychology of optimal experience by mihaly csikszentmihalyi (in transit)

but how long, babe, can you search for what's not lost?

(photographer: sean marc lee)

today

family celebrations at red lobster. no joke.  just succulent lobsters drenched in butter and glory

music

better mixes at mixwit

a song

La Monte Young- 03 Dream house, 1973

abramson and alloy landmark laboratory experiment

"one cognitive symptom of depression may be the loss of optimistic, self-enhancing biases that normally protect healthy people against assaults to their self-esteem. In many instances, depressives may simply be judging themselves and the world much more accurately than non-depressed people, and finding it not a pretty place"

happiness

"The psychologist richard bentall has taken this research to its extreme conclusion, humorously proposing to classify happiness as a psychiatric disorder- major affective disorder (pleasant type)"

don't let yourself lose me

yesterday

sketching at travel town- a train museum

today

danny's birthday dinner at orris

our menu:

beet salad with cheese

fried anchovies

ravioli with shrimp mousse shiitake mushroom sauce

trio of smoked salmon croquettes

foie gras with japanese eggplant

other things i'm reading

creativity by osho

dominion: the power of men, the suffering animals, and the call to mercy by matthew scully

there were many clients who came every sunday to wrangle over the telescope for the pure delight of tasting the insipid forbidden fruits of the walled area that was denied them

(from dunya zakharova)

today

drawing, a lot.

there is

just so much to learn. denying all set dogmas, keeping an open mind and exploring new directions. 

again,

i love ira

also,

macaroni and cheese duty for saturday

you gaze To-day, while You are You-- how then To-morrow, You when shall be You no more

(Richard Misrach)

today

discussing world war one. how sad and regrettable that one misguided teenage boy set off a war leading to over 40 million casualties. 

drink wine, it's what remains of the harvest of youth- the season of roses and wine and drunken friends. Be happy for this moment, this moment is your life

(tania leshkinata)

fourth of july

lots and lots of festivities involving drinks, clubs, barbecues, bars, food, dancing, and friends. 

today

a long breakfast with gloria and julie.

a great mix

musicalfetus

beautiful poetry

by omar khayyam

watching

animal planet: saving a species-  Gorillas on the brink

reading

"Lincoln's Melancholy." inspiring, still. 

hours left today

writing an essay and drawing sea creatures. 

there are no accidents in my philosophy

(simon-pais)

honest abe. this, perhaps longer than gettysburg address.

reading a newsweek article about abraham lincoln and charles darwin. Sadly, most of my newsweek magazines are unread, and sprawled throughout the house, but there's always been a curiosity about Lincoln, as he is consistently ranked as one of the most successful presidents in american history, and, i've read, an unfailing favorite to past US presidents. I've hence become preoccupied with reading accounts and recollections of his character and disposition, his documented idiosyncrasies, and his tragedies- the death of three sons, the death of his mother, and the death of his first love. It is staggering that he survived three very close brushes with death, intermittent floods of depression, and failures as a farmer, a businessman, and endured the losses of various political candidacies. With only 18 months of formal education, he became our 16th president, and one of the greatest orator of our time, not to mention a slew of decisions that changed the course of US history- his perseverance which echos in its narrative. but what is really preoccupying and sobering is his will and inner strength and the ability to endure. the question of innate qualities or developed inner vigor. they say, "lincoln was a real person with real problems who still managed to do great things." its so rudimentary, and perhaps silly to say, but i feel deeply affected by this. the timing of this retrospective feels so appropriate to me, and i feel so immensely moved. 

feeling

melancholy

oh, the thirst to know

(woodstock?)

noon

lunch with my friend, dan.

2:00 

watching "degenerate art" on vhs

3:30

going through slides of scandinavian, italian, german home furnishings. love, love, love!

so bad, so good

i just can't help myself. electropop and tecktonik is so fun! where is a nu rave scene here around los angeles. i want to go dance to electro!

bestest

muxtape. listening to 'mixed tapes' made by strangers. so great! i feel oddly intimate with them through their choice of music.  its fun to think about the progression of their songs from first to last.