and you, you have vanished, into the air. the air in which i live

hello, day

can't we just- enjoy this?

the picture above

sorta reminds me of the book "the awakening." i love that story.

notes from others

"sleep and have a daily personal habit/routine/practice to start off your day" 

consuming

humble-pie

the fields may be whitening, but i will be gone. to roam o'er this wide world alone

o darling monday

my back is super super sore from sitting and using my wacom tablet nonstop. usually im opposed to getting a massage but i think i might have to reconsider.

madmen

so obsessed. 

the return,  after much time away

sunday

doing homework. researched all day and now drawing silly robots and debating whether i should download the second episode of madmen. 

rice cakes

danny. you missed out on the best rice cakes ever. our uncle sent them from korea. oh my god. chocolate rice cakes (dduk) in various varieties and oh my god. 

through the day,  if on an ocean, waiting here,  always failing to remember why we came

friday 

after class, a small excursion with A and K turned out to be a whole night of eating thai food, drinking coffee, beers, book shopping, ice creaming, and watching two movies back to back. i can't believe it. it was a long, fun day.

today

i went to santa monica to go buy a book for research and now im sitting here like most weekends. alone, in front of my computer, homeworking. 

other things

i get stuck on one song. i just listen to it over and over and over and over and over and over. D told me once that exploring music went in conjunction with your growth. i think this is true.  i should explore more more more music. 

in this dream im dancing right beside you

problems

i have signs of post traumatic stress syndrome. i woke up three times this week in a state of extreme panic. hm. ive been calm and relaxed otherwise. 

life in general

good. slightly tired. but good. taking an entertainment design and graphics class and the novelty of it is exciting.

tomorrow

i am meeting A on campus to hang out. i like our weekly get together. its nice to recap the week and nice to do something that is non-computer-lab related. 

obama

the inauguration and the series of moments that led to the moment gave me goosebumps. it still gives me goosebumps. obamas been quick to reverse bush's policies especially that of guantanamo bay. i feel like its a massive act of love and faith. not in "arabs" or "terrorists" or etc. but in human kind. 

it might not be the right one, it might not be the right time. but there's something about us i've got to do

mlk day

i woke up really early to go to the gym, sent my brother off to chicago. and i've been sitting in front of the computer ever since. i am slightly crazed right now and unable to assess my research in clear objectivity. 

From what i've seen, you're magnificent

again, more notes.

i had a good weekend. nothing special. behind on school (already). but taking advantage of life during the first week of school. had a drink with A and R on saturday and lunch today with J and J at tendergreens. i got a flat tire and had to call AAA.

decisions

i've been racking my brain for a product to design. and after doing some massive browsing and writing enormously long lists, i've come up with two (so far) that i am very interested in. 

i only whispered then hung up. i whispered, "wait till break of day"

notes in general

so far enjoying my classes. been searching for good children's illustrations for visual development. i think i found one i really love. i am auditing the class, but excited because it is all very foreign to me. i think my drawing skills will drastically improve and i'd have explored various visual styles that i can apply later. i really really need to draw better, solidworks better, graphics better. have a better understanding of materials better. 

other notes

had a quick bite with friends after class and went for a quick run this morning. today, i need to work diligently because i've already slacked off a bit. 

feeling

not so bad. happy, even. determined. really determined.

once again in the world of twelve hundred feelings. all in electric lights we see what we can

san francisco

fun! no matter how many times i go, its always very different, especially when traveling with new people. i danced a lot one night. and it felt so great.

the day before january 12

i spent time with S. chatting about the frivolities of everyday life - like boys, steakhouses and facebook. but also, not so frivolous things, like the repercussions that come with losing a dad. also spent time with K and his bf D. we had boiling crab, watched monk, and went to see bride wars. it was too girly, even for k. 

the night before january 12

tomorrow school starts. the feeling is unlike any other "first days" at the various schools i've attended. my life drastically changes again once tomorrow starts. i am excited, so very scared, and in much anticipation for whats to come. i hope it goes well, and i learn as much as i learned this past term. 

a list of things i am scared about

not sleeping, being completely unhealthy and living off my vices (there are tons), being lonely (since seeing close friends is a rarity), the mess i create, being behind, getting caught up in all the craziness and not listening to myself, indecision, extreme stress (and becoming a person i don't recognize due to the emotional extremities), ability to perform, failing, failing failing (myself).

a list of things i am excited about

learning new things, new instructors, meeting new people, new inspirations, the adrenalin, the anticipation of new experiences, improvements, connections, finding out whether or not i can learn and utilize what i've learned from past mistakes, seeing old friends, strong decisions, creativity, extreme talent (and learning from them), conversation, seeing the amazing things people come up with, seeing what i come up with, the feeling of working hard and getting results, the feeling of failing but failing better, being happy with my work.

this list made me feel better. 

watching

the diving bell and the butterfly before bed. 

tumblr

my tumblr and its collection of images, videos, quotes, and music. a compilation of things i love (aimless and unsystematic). i like this because its a good reflection of who i am and how i feel (at that specific time and day) through the work of other people (mostly). i am trying not to overlap the contents so much. this is one of my goals for 2009. diligence in documenting digitally and also through a separate sketchbook. well, here goes it: notes for future lovers

it passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. even for me

yesterday

went to spaceland to listen to music with some friends and had enough beer to make me more than happy. before the show, i had a banana bread beer in some dark alley and it was really good. i do remember chatting about wild mustangs.

today

i am almost sick. its so weird to be almost sick. i would prefer one or the other.

tomorrow morning

going to sf, and hoping i am not cursed with a high fever and a sore throat. 

sometimes

i can't distinguish between being psychotic and being honest. if there even is a difference. i think i am mostly psychotic. 

sally, i think i'll buy the flowers myself

(edward hopper)

yesterday

doing all the messy business like getting my hair trimmed and getting my eyebrows threaded. 

later on

ay's birthday at uwink, bowling at lucky strike, and excessive excessive amounts of singing. i had a good night. i think ay did too. 

mornings

its so cold. i lay in bed for one hour after i wake up in a burrito of blankets. i like this a lot. 

what more can they tell you? i am neither good nor bad but a man

(photo: unknown)

today

happy new years!

this is going to be a good year.

this morning

gauging time by watching larry h. parker on tv. his commercial does not have the same determined zest like it did a decade ago. 

edit*

watched
revolutionary road in pasadena with mom and brother. it was so fantastic. it really was. hmm.