dream the dream 

I've really tried to reduce the NY madness of my life by editing out what I can. Currently, I am making attempts to keep a more disciplined day to day. Doing only the things that feel nourishing to me. This means seeing less people, talking less, eating out less, partying less and drinking less. It's difficult and a (really) lonely endeavor, but I hope that this will bring me to a place I want to be and more importantly, the person I imagine myself being.

I've just finished reading Patti Smith's "Just Kids" and it left me in a stupor. I haven't read a book that really captured the devotion to art since high school and it made me sad that I forgot about the unadulterated feelings and inner devotion to creation. Where did that go? And when did it become replaced with the stress of making lots of money, pleasing other designers/people, and being so concerned about getting married?

Those old hopes and larger-than-life dreams are real. They're more "real-er" now that we can see it through a different, more adult lens. What's hard, is to hold on to the dreams of your younger self and use your adult capabilities to make it come to life. The recognition is key.

I want to go back to that place. This time, tackling it with more rigor. Let's see where it gets me...