you'll be given love. you'll be taken care of. you'll be given love. you have to trust it

yesterday

the gold bug store in pasadena has to be the best store ever. went to their meet and greet with christopher marley, an entomologist, who does wonderful wonderful things with insects of all kinds. so beautiful, so beautiful.

dinner

afterwards. with amaya, kc, and arjun. arjun i just met, and he is obsessed with bugs and i love this about him. feeling guilty for too much enjoyment during evening excursion. 

also yesterday night

two bottles of red with amaya at school, ping pong, lack of schoolwork, and bitter bitter cold. liquor makes me heave uncontrollable amounts of secrets and insecurities. perhaps, these are good things and i should begin heaving sans liquor. 

a note about pingpong

i've played more ping pong these past 4 weeks than i've ever played in my entire life. 

pavilion at night

artcenter has an amazing view of the city. i try to take a peek late in the evenings before i go home. the city sparkles so gently and it makes me feel so many things. 

other things

gloom has struck me like lightning, and its messing me up. there's a lack of "emotional" adjectives in the english language and it drives me mad. what would describe extreme extreme extreme sadness and extreme extreme extreme happiness/love coinciding together? they're twins but always fighting together. this feeling is constant and so consistent in my heart. it is not bittersweetness. its comparison is too neutral.

please,

i want to go driving. to anywhere.